“Praying.”

I always have and always will adore Ke$ha. When I was around 13, I did an entire photoshoot based around her songs and their “crazy party” vibes. I loved her album Animal, and would dance in my room like nobody was watching to Tik-Tok and Blow Up. I still think about her Blow Up video actually, and watching it until I kind of understood it. “Vanderdouche” still makes me laugh, and it’s the first time I ever even heard of muenster cheese.

The photoshoot I mentioned was the first and last time I ever really did anything inspired by her. She fell off the radar and we were left with features on different songs by different artists. Up until three days ago, the last thing posted on her Youtube channel was from four years ago. The video she posted three days ago was a music video for her new single, Praying.

Kesha was different when she blew up around 2010. She didn’t care about other peoples thoughts on her, she was considered weird and dirty, and her music videos were definitely considered out-there. But, all I knew was that she was making fun music and in these “weird” and “out-there” music videos, she looked like a human. I was thirteen and struggling with body issues and confidence and she was letting her thighs jiggle like mine did when she danced. All of this bundled together is why she has a spot in my heart.

Around October of 2014, Kesha started an incredibly public trial with her music producer, Dr. Luke. It’s been in and out of the news, but the bottom line is Dr. Luke is an awful person. She accused him of sexual assault, battery, verbal abuse, drugging her, etc. I followed this closely while it was going on because first, Kesha disappears from the world for nearly four years and then pops back up in the news because she’s fighting a producer in court. It made me so incredibly sad for her.

I listened to her new song for the first time yesterday as I was laying in bed – and as soon as I heard the beginning monologue, I was crying. Her words of strength resonated with me and I felt inspired. I read her letter about the meaning behind the song and I cried more.

So, I slathered red paint on my torso, arms, and hands and took a photo.

Praying copy

I am not a religious person. I don’t know what’s waiting for me once I kick it. To be frank, I don’t pray. I don’t pray because I don’t know who I’m talking to, or if it’s just me whispering words to the air. In this case, however, I see the symbolism. I see the strength it must take to not just forgive somebody, but to hope for them, to pray for them. The song moved me in such a way I felt as if I had to create this. This messy, sad, passionate photo.

So, thank you Kesha, for giving my 13-year-old-self another reason to love herself, for showing such incredible strength, and for still creating music.

Spread love. xoxo

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